


Switch

by ShardsInMySkin



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Character Development, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-11 18:19:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11719890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShardsInMySkin/pseuds/ShardsInMySkin
Summary: “Today in class,” Yuuri said in a soft wobbling voice, sounding like each word was being pushed past cotton wool in his throat, “they said Yuuri’s going to kiss a foreigner”Hiroko understood what had happened immediately.---Soulmate AU – Most people on earth are born with one eye the same colour as their soulmate’s.





	1. Foreign

**Author's Note:**

> What started out as an idea inspired by a comic became a 30k+ monster. I know this idea has been done before but any resemblance to other stories/pictures is entirely coincidental and accidental. I’ve tried to make things realistic to a certain degree in this story. However, I’m just a monolingual fool with Google so please forgive any errors. Comments and kudos are very appreciated :)

** CHAPTER 1  
  
  
**

Hiroko could tell Yuuri was upset as soon as he shuffled past the kitchen and mumbled hello without making eye contact.   
  
There was a tell-tale pinch in his eyes, a small tremble to his bottom lip and an abnormal quietness surrounding him as she stopped him and asked how his day was. Her son stared at the floor and answered quietly.   
  
_My day was fine. Yes, I have homework from my teachers. Yes, I will finish it after dinner._   
  
The quietness continued at dinner. Yuuri ate with his head down, not reacting to Toshiya’s booming voice as he told the family a story about a perverted foreigner he’d caught trying to sneak his girlfriend into the men’s section of the onsen earlier that day.

As soon as he’d finished eating Yuuri slipped away from the table, light footsteps padding down the wooden hall. Hiroko assumed he’d disappeared into his bedroom upstairs and they wouldn’t see him again all night. However, half an hour later she glanced out the window at the setting sun and caught sight of a small figure huddled on the bench in their garden.    
  
She finished wiping down the kitchen counter, found a blanket in their storage cupboard, softly slipped on some sandals at the door and slipped outside, ignoring her husband’s questioning glance.

The dying orange glow of the sun painted the sky over Hasetsu in beautiful ochre and pink splashes. The pink faded to a purpley-blue hue over the bay and twinkling yellow and white lights were starting to dot the city below.   
  
Soft sniffles filled the chilly air, partially muffled by the cold wind rolling in with the night.

As Hiroko got closer she could see that Yuuri was shivering. He had pressed his wet eyes and cheeks into his folded arms as if he was trying to block out the rest of the world. The small boy’s silhouette was dark and cast a long shadow against the backdrop of the setting sun. Hiroko’s heart started to ache softly at the lonely shape her son created. How could someone so young already look like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders?   
  
Yuuri jumped when she placed the blanket in her hands softly around his shoulders. As he looked up she could see the tip of his nose was pink and dripping from the cold evening air.   
  
“It feels like kogarashi. You will catch a cold staying outside” Hiroko admonished softly.  
  
Yuuri curled even more tightly around himself and clutched at the blanket. Hiroko sighed and looked up. The first few stars had begun to shine weakly in the sky above.  
  
“When I was at school,” she started softly, “There was a girl in my class who used to tease me. She called me a marshmallow girl every day when the teacher wasn’t looking”   
  
Yuuri stirred and tilted his tear-stained face towards her, silently showing he was listening.   
  
“She was a bit older than me, but we were in the same advanced class. I knew she was jealous because I got higher marks than her. One day I sat next to her and shared my notes even after she had called me names. On the next quiz we got the same score”   
  
Hiroko paused and watched the glowing orange sun sink deeper and deeper on the horizon.    
  
“After that she never called me a marshmallow girl again. Minako-senpai and I became really close friends after that … but even though we became friends I didn’t feel better until I told her how hurtful the words were.”   
  
The winking embers of the sun finally disappeared over the horizon. The light was sucked quickly from the sky and the winking lights from the city below became brighter.

Her son wiped his eyes on his sleeve and sat up, uncurling from the ball he was in and pulled the blanket around his shoulders more securely.   
  
“Today in class,” Yuuri said in a soft wobbling voice, sounding like each word was being pushed past cotton wool in his throat, “they said _Yuuri’s going to kiss a foreigner_ ”   
  
Hiroko understood what had happened immediately.    
  
She sat down on the bench next to her son and pulled him softly into her. Yuuri’s face immediately collapsed and she let him cry on her shoulder even as the evening light completely disappeared and the temperature continued to drop.  
  
  


\------  
  
  
  
_Soulmate_ – a person ideally suited to another; a meeting of mind, heart, body and soul on the highest of levels. Western folklore claims that when a soul descends to earth it splits in two, each half of the soul inhabiting a separate body. These two people are 'soulmates' and will never be complete until they find one another.   
  
The most widely accepted way to determine an individual’s soulmate is the eye colour switching phenomenon (often colloquially referred to as _switching_ ). The majority of humans are born with one eye the genetically-determined colour inherited from their parents and one eye the same colour as their soulmate’s. Scientific research has determined that it’s largely due to chance whether the left or right eye is the soulmate’s eye colour. In some populations this means an individual is often unsure what their true eye colour is until they have found their soulmate and _switched_.   
  
_Switching_ \- Switching refers to the return of both eyes to their natural colour in an individual. Switching normally occurs when two soulmates kiss on the lips for the first time triggering each individual’s eyes return to their natural colour.   
  
_Opthalchromology –_ a subset of ophthalmology examining the unique science behind the eye colour switching phenomenon.   
  
Opthalchromologists have studied eye colour switching for centuries. A recent joint study run by opthalchromologists and neurologists from Harvard University used fMRI imaging to pinpoint the differences in the brain between soulmates who had switched and a control group who had not switched. The results of the study were inconclusive and the scientists explained that more research is needed to fully understand the phenomenon. The study was received with much interest from the scientific community. In particular, scientists from countries in the Asia-Pacific region said studies like this were crucial in the ongoing effort to determine if or when switching had occurred in individuals born with the same coloured eyes.  
  
_Global demographics_ \- Opthalchromologists and anthropologists estimated that in the 20 th century approximately 97% of soulmates were born in the same country. This trend seems to be somewhat shifting in the 21st century with advancing technology and increasingly affordable means of international transport. Current estimates have the occurrence of soulmates being born in the same country at 89%.   
  
Recent advances in biomedical science have allowed scientists conducting genetic and opthalchromological research to make strong advances in explaining the eye switching phenomenon. However it is unknown whether a definitive theory will ever truly be discovered.   
  
**-Excerpts from the Basics of Opthalchromology by Dr Alex N. Crossman.  
  
  
  
** \---  
  
  
  
  
The elementary school Yuuri attended was tiny. It sat at the end of a short curving road which ran past squat grey government buildings and the Hasetsu post office. The road was lined with coastal shrubs and the school was on the lip of the land, overlooking Hasetsu bay. There was no beach at this part of the peninsula, only a few dark rocks before the land dropped away to cold ocean water. From the small school playground, the large rising hill with Hasetsu Castle perched on the top was visible across the sparkling water.   
  
The classroom Yuuri sat in every day was also tiny. It was a basic room with a blackboard at the front and small forward-facing wooden desks lined up in neat rows. Large windows covered the left wall, letting in white daylight.   
  
Every day since the lesson about soulmates, Yuuri had taken to slumping down in his small wooden seat. He stared determinedly at the grainy wood of his desk or the pages of his textbooks, not looking up unless spoken to. Although the small classroom didn’t leave Yuuri anywhere to hide, Yuuri felt he had at least a small semblance of control by keeping his eyes down. It wasn’t like he could read what was on the board anyway. He watched as the white daylight spilling from the window slowly travelled across the pages he was looking at, trying to ignore the sidelong glances he got from his peers.   
  
His mother had tried to reassure him that it was perfectly fine to have a soulmate who probably wasn’t Japanese on the day he discovered what mismatched eyes meant. However, this didn’t stop Yuuri being self-conscious about it. His classmate’s shrill laughter still rang through his ears.   
  
“ _Yuuri’s going to kiss a foreigner!_ ”  
  
Following that night, Yuuri’s upset mood hadn’t abated for the rest of the week. Eventually Mari asked him what was wrong and, when he confided in her, she had no trouble teasing him relentlessly.   
  
Yuuri’s temper broke quickly, leading to a war-like wrestling match over the hard wooden floors of the onsen. Mari of course, like the majority of Japanese people, including their parents and all of Yuuri’s classmates, had two normal brown eyes. Their mother had ended up scolding them both when guests started complaining about the shouting and thumping coming from upstairs.   
  
When Yuuri looked in the mirror, he had one brown eye and one eye that was bright blue, the colour of the sky.  
  
About three weeks had now passed since the enlightening lesson and their wrestling match.   
  
Yuuri shivered in his small wooden seat and turned the page dutifully as the teacher droned on. Winter was starting to fall over Hasetsu. Yuuri could see when he looked out the window that the first sprinkling flurry of snow had started outside, white powder drifting down slowly from the pregnant dark grey clouds.   
  
When the final bell for the day rang, Yuuri quickly slipped out of the classroom and into the swirling wind outside. His feet crunched on the gravel as he walked up to the white van with ‘Yu-topia Katsuki’ printed on the side which was waiting in the tiny school carpark. A few boats moored at the boardwalk at the end of the road danced in the choppy waves, bumping softly against the boardwalk.   
  
Yuuri scrambled into the front seat, mumbling hello.   
  
His mother shifted the car into gear, turned the van around in a wide circle and drove it slowly down the road speckled in white, watching for ice patches. The supplies in the back of the van clinked and shifted as they went over gentle bumps.   
  
“How was school today?” Hiroko asked.   
  
Yuuri gave the same quiet response that he always did.   
  
_My day was fine. Yes, I have homework from my teachers. Yes, I will finish it after dinner._  
  
The car trip passed in relative silence and Yuuri found himself worrying the edges of his sleeves and glancing at his mother uncomfortably, something about the softness of her expression setting him on edge. He found it unnerving when she looked like that.  
  
The scenery blurred past as they crossed the bridge over to the onsen’s side of the town. The ocean had taken on a dark teal colour as the afternoon light faded. Although Yuuri couldn’t see the sun poking through the dull clouds anywhere, he knew it would be about halfway down the horizon now.   
  
They pulled into Yu-topia’s entrance and the van’s engine fell silent.   
  
Yuuri’s hand went to the car door handle, but a gentle touch on his shoulder had him turning back and looking directly at his mother’s gentle eyes.   
  
“Yuuri.”  
  
She paused, folding her hands neatly into her lap. Yuuri’s stomach flipped, feeling a little like a trapped animal.   
  
“Did you know that my favourite colour is blue?” Hiroko asked, smiling gently as his nose scrunched up in confusion.   
  
Yuuri shook his head.   
  
“But your father’s favourite colour is green and Mari likes yellow. That’s ok, right?”  
  
“Yes?” Yuuri ventured, feeling butterflies dancing in his stomach.   
  
“And some people really hate blue and it’s their least favourite colour. That’s ok too, right?”  
  
“Yes?”   
  
His mother reached into her maroon apron and handed him a small box wrapped in brown paper.   
  
“Okāsan?”  
  
“Open it.”  
  
With a sinking heart and jittery fingers, he peeled the tape off the paper. Inside the wrapping was a little plastic box. The illustration on the cover was a brown eye. Something unpleasant contracted strongly in Yuuri’s stomach.   
  
He didn’t realise his hands were shaking until his mother softly covered them with her own.   
  
“Sometimes people don’t like a certain colour. Sometimes people think it’s a very personal thing to show someone else their favourite colour. These are for you if blue isn’t your favourite colour, Yuuri.”   
  
“Okāsan…”  
  
He looked up at his mother wide-eyed. She smiled gently at him.  
  
“Does your mother have to repeat herself, Yuuri? Blue is my favourite colour.”   
  
That night at dinner, Yuuri was less subdued. He ate quickly, looked up more and rushed through his homework, looking towards his mother eagerly. When she finally gave him the nod, he took off up their wooden stairs and went into the family bathroom, carefully and quietly locking the door.  
  
His fingers shook slightly as he opened the small plastic package with the brown eye on it.   
  
Yuuri carefully put the contact lens into his left eye.   
  
When he straightened, two brown eyes were looking back at him in the mirror.   
  
It was strange. He looked normal.

_So this is what I’ll look like when I meet my soulmate_ he thought, cheeks flushing lightly.   
  
The next morning he asked his mother to book him an appointment he had been putting off for too long.   
  
  
  
\--------  
  
  
  
  
Yuuri squirmed in his seat.   
  
The waiting room he sat in with his father was white and had a sterile hospital-like feel to it. The carpet was a pale cream colour and there was a glass table in the middle with magazines thrown on top of it. There were also a few posters on the walls showing smiling models with bright brown eyes.   
  
The clinic sat about a block away from Hasetsu station, right in the middle of the town. Snow had been falling gently as they set out on the journey, small piles of slush building around the drains on the streets. Toshiya had driven carefully and taken the corners very slowly, wary of hidden black ice that sometimes accumulated on the downward slopes. Most of the nature strips had a small white fluffy coating and many of the footpaths had been shovelled and salted by the local residents.   
  
Toshiya had joked about the weather to the receptionist when they arrived.  
  
“Your clinic must be really been snowed under at the moment! Ho ho ho ho!”   
  
Yuuri wanted to die.   
  
After a short wait, Yuuri and his father were called into a small consultation room by a middle-aged man with a long white coat. Yuuri suppressed a cringe and felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment when the man noticed Yuuri’s eyes and took a sharp intake of breath. Yuuri heard his father chuckle softly at the reaction and his internal cringing grew a few thousand degrees stronger.   
  
The man gestured for Yuuri to sit down in a special chair in front of a black and white machine which looked somewhat like a microscope.  
  
He sat quietly through the examination, only speaking when asked a question. The burning from his cheeks seemed to have settled into something wobbly in his chest. He read off a chart. He was then placed in front of a different machine which sat above his head. The shape was something like two large joint circles that looked a little like a giant pair of glasses. Yuuri read off a chart again while the man in the white coat flicked switches on the machine.   
  
Once the man had drawn his conclusions, Yuuri and his father were led back out into the main area of the clinic. The diagnosis was what Yuuri had initially feared.   
  
The man gestured to the far wall where the entire wall was lined with different colours and shapes of glasses frames.   
  
“Pick any pair you like, Yuuri-san”   
  
Yuuri bit his lip and studied the wall carefully. He tried to hide the trembling in his hands by stuffing his small fists into his pockets.   
  
He went from frame to frame, immediately dismissing some and lingering on others, trying them on and carefully peering at his reflection in the wide shop mirror. He knew he had found the right frames for him when his gaze stopped abruptly and his heart started thumping loudly in his chest.   
  
“ _Yuuri’s going to kiss a foreigner!_ ”  
  
The bubbling laughter that followed the statement rang in his ears again.  
  
He was different to his classmates. He feared that glasses would make him stand out more than he already did. The problem was, even if he concealed his real person, Yuuri knew he would still be different to his peers. He knew that even if he concealed himself they would still stare at him and laugh behind his back.   
  
With fists clenched and heart racing, he made up his mind.   
  
“I want this one, Otōsan”  
  
His father looked at the frames and laughed, clapping a hand onto his shoulder.   
  
A week later, they were back at the clinic and Yuuri placed his first pair of glasses on his face. The blue frames highlighted exactly what colour his left eye was. The brown contact lenses were left untouched on the desk in his bedroom.   
  
  
  
  
\-----  
  
  
  
  
Yuuri had loved the ice for as long as he could remember.   
  
He found his worries melted away as soon as his blades were slicing through the glassy surface. On the ice he felt a sense of freedom which he couldn’t quite explain, especially when his mother looked at the blisters on his small feet in concern and a soft protective expression fell over her face. Although she never said anything, Yuuri could tell she worried. Whenever he caught the expression on her face Yuuri pushed himself harder. He wasn’t weak. He didn’t need to be worried about.   
  
Towards the end of elementary school, his parents had deemed him old enough to not need picking up anymore. As such, after school he’d started walking straight from the classroom to the ice rink which was tucked at the bottom of the hill that led up to Hasetsu Castle. It was a 40 minute walk, but Yuuri enjoyed the salty sea breeze tickling his hair as he walked along the edge of the coast in the orange afternoon sun. The snickers from his classmates had melted away after he started wearing his glasses with the bright blue frames. Yuuri was still self-conscious and quiet. He was still different from his classmates. However, he refused to let that challenge defeat him, even when it sometimes made him want to curl up and cry.  
  
One cold afternoon, Yuuri jogged in the weak winter light up to Ice Castle Hasetsu to watch the Junior World Championship with his childhood friend Yuuko. Yuuri struggled to remember a time before Yuuko. Some of his earliest memories were of them fooling around on the ice, tripping and being hauled up again by adult arms. Although Yuuko didn’t attend the same school as him, Yuuri quietly considered her one of his closest friends. It felt natural when they had fallen into pair skating together, and they had both been looking forward to watching the Finals for months.   
  
The orange sun was starting to sink on the horizon when Yuuri reached the front steps of Ice Castle Hasetsu. Although it was creeping slowly towards spring, the air still retained a cold frozen quality to it which was exacerbated by strong ocean gusts from the bay. Yuuri’s breaths puffed into white clouds in front of him and his schoolbag jostled on his back as he took the ice rink’s stairs two at a time to escape the chill.  
   
Yuuko was already in the foyer waiting for him. They sat in front of the TV next to the reception area which had been set up for the viewing by the owner. They both ignored the questioning looks from people coming in and out of the rink from the afternoon skating classes, smiling and unable to contain their excitement. Nishigori was there as well of course, sitting on the end of the bench looking bored and making faces. He followed wherever Yuuko went.  
  
The first day of the championships was the men’s singles event. As soon as it started with the commentator’s introductions and the competitors spilling onto the ice to warm up, Yuuko couldn’t sit still. Nishigori rolled his eyes at all the fuss Yuuko was making over some boring skaters. Yuuri felt awe blossoming in his mind as they watched the talented athletes move gracefully across the ice to warm up their limbs. He couldn’t help but notice the interesting colours of different skaters’ eyes when the camera panned in for close-ups.   
  
Eventually the actual skating started, beginning with the men’s short programs. Yuuko was so excited she gave up sitting and jumped up from the bench, hovering close to the television and clenching her fists in anticipation. There were 45 entries with only 24 spots to advance to the free skating. Yuuri watched as athletes bloomed and advanced or cracked under the pressure and fell. He couldn’t help but wince every time this happened, picturing himself in the same situation.   
  
One athlete was led off the ice crying with his coach’s arm around his shoulders.   
  
“A disappointing start to the event for Australia’s Jonathan Li. We’ll see what his scores say!” one of the commentators chirped.   
  
Unsurprisingly, the scores were low, and the skater looked unlikely to advance to the free skate.   
  
“Next up we have Russia’s Victor Nikiforov”  
  
Yuuko squealed in excitement and jumped up and down on the spot. Yuuri had heard the name before. However, this would be the first time he’d actually watched Victor Nikiforov skating.   
  
“He won the gold in the Junior Worlds with the highest score in history! He’s so cool!” Yuuko exclaimed, jumping around in anticipation and talking over the commentator as they outlined Nikiforov’s career achievements so far.   
  
A lithe figure appeared on the screen and Yuuri abruptly stopped listening to his friend. For some reason his heart had started to race.   
  
Yuuri watched as Victor Nikiforov glided on the television screen in a dark bejewelled costume. He had his eyes closed and there was a calm confident expression on his face as he waited for the music to start. Except Yuuri couldn’t hear the music when Victor Nikiforov started to move. It felt like someone had pressed hands over his ears as the camera quickly panned out to capture the teenager’s full range of movements.   
  
_What’s happening?  
  
_ Victor Nikiforov stepped and jumped across the ice flawlessly, with so much grace that it was impossible to look away. Yuuri felt the buzzing in his ears growing louder, hands growing clammy. He dug crescents with his fingernails into his palms.   
  
_Why am I feeling like this?_  
  
Then Victor Nikiforov did a particular spin that made the long silver hair of the teenager flow around him ethereally, his head tilted upwards in a reverent expression.   
  
Yuuri’s eyes widened and he felt his cheeks catch fire so quickly it made his head spin. His mouth dropped open, thoughts spiralling in a thousand different directions. Inside his chest, his heart thudded wildly. When Victor Nikiforov opened his eyes, Yuuri felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over his head.   
  
Two shocking realisations hit him at the same time.   
  
Yuuri swallowed and felt a strong lump rising in his throat that made it feel like he was about to cry.  
  
_He is beautiful…._ _Shouldn’t I notice girls instead?_   
  
Yuuko continued to jump around in excitement and missed the disgusted tongue Nishigori poked out. Yuuri ignored both of them, his eyes glued to the figure moving elegantly around the grainy television screen. As the camera zoomed in again the site was unmistakable.

Victor had one gorgeous light blue eye and one deep brown eye.   
  
_He’s the same as me!_ Yuuri thought faintly.   
  
Unsurprisingly, when he finished his routine Victor Nikiforov scored extremely highly.   
  
Yuuri watched the rest of the Junior Grand Prix Finals in a shell-shocked trance.   
  
He played the scene of Victor Nikiforov spinning in a circle with his long hair dancing around him in his head over and over again. The image of the teenager with the mismatched eyes gliding across the ice was burnt into his brain. He could barely pay attention to the rest of the skaters on the screen.   
  
After the events finally wrapped up for the day and it was well and truly dark outside, Yuuko smiled at him. She pointedly ignored the suspicious look Nishigori sent them over his shoulder.   
  
“Wow, that was amazing! Who was your favourite Yuuri?” she asked, eyes still sparkling with excited energy.   
  
Yuuri felt his cheeks burn red and studied the ground.   
  
“I…I really liked Victor Nikiforov.” he said and peeked up at her through his eyelashes with a shy smile.

Yuuko beamed at him.  
  
“Me too!” she exclaimed, “He was incredible.”   
  
One week later, Yuuri begged his parents for posters of the foreign skater even as his cheeks burned with mortification at their bewildered looks.

Yuuri couldn’t really stop his cheeks burning whenever he thought about his newfound celebrity crush and the ridiculous fantasy that Victor, on the other side of the world living a completely different life to Yuuri, just maybe, wondered what his strangely coloured eyes meant too.   
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
  
Yuuri started junior high school with a rush of nerves, hormones and tiredness.   
  
The school he attended was a joint junior and senior high school which sat at the base of the hill leading up to Hasetsu castle. The hill was covered in a shower of pink spring petals which swirled beautifully in the fresh salty breeze and landed in the schoolyard, tickling students’ faces. The location of his new school reduced his walk to Ice Castle Hasetsu to only 5 minutes and he started spending longer and longer there after school, to the dismay of his teachers. Yuuko and Nishigori attended the same school and they would often walk to the rink together after classes finished for the day. Sometimes Yuuri could hear the harsh cry of seagulls from his wooden seat in the classroom or the steps of the ice rink.   
  
Attending the same school as the pair meant that Nishigori teased him relentlessly and drew everyone’s attention to his mismatched eyes. However Yuuri didn’t really care that the other students ogled at his back. His mind was often too preoccupied with the complex step sequence he’d been trying to learn, or the jump he couldn’t quite nail, or the process of getting his body to move fluidly from one move to the next.   
  
“You’re a real ladies’ man Yuuri!” Nishigori had said one day, slapping him on the back, a wide teasing grin painted across his cheeks as they changed after gym.   
  
Yuuri looked at him like he’d lost his mind, completely bewildered at the out-of-the-blue comment. He shook his head.

“Please don’t tease me like that.”  
  
Yuuri looked across the male changing room where some of the other boys were still getting dressed.  He watched as a drop of sweat travelled down the back of one of the older boy’s necks and disappeared into the fabric of his t-shirt.  
  
Yuuri swallowed thickly.   
  
Senior high school also passed in a blur of exhaustion.   
  
Yuuri struggled through the tiredness to complete his homework late at night. He found it particularly challenging to get the nonsensical structure of English to stick into his brain. Despite his best efforts to be organised, Yuuri felt constantly torn between his homework and training and competitions.   
  
Yuuri didn’t mention to anyone that he had started to wake up regularly with hot sticky thighs and ghostly images of silver hair, mismatched eyes and hard masculine hands touching him dancing behind his eyelids.  
  
Somehow through the anxiety and stress and hormones, Yuuri ranked well and rose quickly through the national ice skating ranks. However, his senior debut was difficult, and his anxiety struck him harder than it ever had before. He tossed and turned the night before the competition. He felt like he couldn’t breathe properly when he entered the stadium. It meant that, after the years of hard work and late nights and late assignments at school and muscle cramps and bleeding ankles and blackened toenails, Yuuri ended up with a mediocre score on his short program. He scraped through to the free skate component of the competition. However, on the morning of the free skate he ended up having a panic attack just before warm up and flubbed most of his jumps during his actual routine. At some point after his abysmal performance, he had sat down on a bench in the changing rooms and peeled his skates and socks off.   
  
With swimming vision and a cramped stomach, he looked down at his bruised, bleeding feet with a unusually clear thought in his head.  
  
_Why am I doing this to myself?_  
  
With the bitter taste of defeat in his mouth, Yuuri returned to the small classroom at his senior high school with his brown-eyed peers and wondered whether he was cut out for skating.   
  
He knew he wasn’t training hard enough. He was letting the competition win. He was being too weak. Yuuri _hated_ losing and he felt it acutely. With shaking hands, he told Minako-sensei and his ice skating coach about a week after the competition that he felt he needed to be pushed harder if he was going to continue skating seriously. How else could he prove himself worthy of one day facing off with Victor Nikiforov?   
  
And for the first time the idea of going overseas to train was floated. His coach and Minako-sensei agreed with the idea, especially as he was nearing the end of high school, and sent him a pile of applications. After a flood of disheartening rejections, Yuuri secured a sports scholarship to an American university in Detroit.   
  
Thank God Yuuri took English seriously at school and practised it on the foreign guests at the onsen. _Thank God_.   
  
Everything started to become real when Yuuri officially applied for his American visa.   
  
Yuuri uploaded a non-smiling photo of himself on the American embassy website. There was a serious looking clause on the page stating that if _switching_ occurred between the date of visa application and the date of arrival in America, an updated photograph must be sent into the US Embassy as soon as possible or access to the country may be denied.   
  
Yuuri thought of his classmates and the sea of brown Japanese eyes, and couldn’t help but smile at the joke.  
  
  
  



	2. Connection

 

Google told Yuuri that Detroit was a busy city nestled in the southeast corner of Michigan on the edge of the American and Canadian border.  
  
Google didn’t tell Yuuri what Detroit actually looked and felt like to live in.  
  
The central business district of Detroit was a cluster of concrete skyscrapers sitting on the bank of the murky Detroit River. From the top of some buildings, the wide navy expanse of Lake St Clair could be seen sparkling on the horizon. When the sun set over the city on clear nights, pink and orange lights from the tall buildings reflected down on the river, making the water appear dark purple. When the night was overcast, the rainbow-spotted water appeared dark grey, reflecting the light-polluted clouds above.

Outside of the downtown area, the tall buildings quickly transformed into a huge sprawling collection of grey industrial areas, green parks, schools and brown brick houses. In both the city and the suburbs there seemed to be busy, bustling people everywhere.  
  
In his first few weeks in America, Yuuri quickly lost track of the number of times he experienced culture shock.  
  
Whilst Yuuri had visited large cities before like Fukuoka and Tokyo, it felt very different actually living in a populated urban area compared to sleepy Hasetsu.  
  
Yuuri was immediately struck by the poverty in Detroit and the split between the suited workers who walked through the city streets on their lunch breaks and the homeless people sitting on the same streets looking up at them with haunted eyes. It wasn’t something that was really seen in Hasetsu, and Yuuri couldn’t help but feel disturbed by it.  
  
Another thing which struck him as extremely odd was the fact that if he looked across Detroit River, he was looking at a different country. He found it very strange that the connected land masses were divided so abruptly from America to Canada. It made him think of how arbitrary borders were.  
  
Yuuri also found himself amused that some clichés he’d heard about America turned out to be accurate. For example, there really did seem to be a Starbucks on almost every corner of the city. In his first week, he also saw a Walmart, McDonald’s, Burger King and Dairy Queen and took a blurry photo of each of them to send to Mari. Mari sent back a horrified-looking emoji.

Other culture shocks in his first few weeks in America came more like punches to the gut rather than general observations. The fact that cars were driven on the right side of the road was the first one that hit him when he stepped outside of Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport with Celestino Cialdini by his side after the last 13-hour leg of his journey. He kept looking to the wrong side of the street before crossing, which he found disorientating. The second shock was constantly converting US Dollars to Yen in his head so he could understand how much money he was spending. _1000 Yen is about $9_ he kept repeating to himself over and over, trying to make the conversion sink in.  
  
The third, and by far most challenging shock, was the accented, fast-paced English spoken everywhere. Whilst Yuuri had studied English as hard as he could before he left, downloaded a translation app and looked up YouTube videos to practise speaking, being thrown into the language with native speakers who slurred all the words together was a completely different experience. The worst part was there were absolutely no Japanese speakers or subtitles around. Whilst Yuuri was sure he could have found some Japanese citizens if he really looked, the entire city was extremely monolingual on the surface. After two days in America, Yuuri downloaded an electronic English-to-Japanese dictionary on his phone and it quickly became his most used app.  
  
Time passed quickly and Yuuri was soon thrown into his classes and skating training before he felt like he’d even scratched the surface of all the things to explore in Detroit.  
  
Yuuri’s college campus was near downtown Detroit and sat on the main road connecting the city to the outer suburbs of the region. It was only a 10 minute drive into the city from the campus. However, given Yuuri didn’t know how to drive (especially not on the right-hand side of the road), he was stuck making the 40-minute walk or catching public transport to most places. From the university he could just see the tall tips of the city skyscrapers peeking over the horizon when he was standing in the right place and other buildings or trees weren’t obscuring the view.  
  
Yuuri had mixed feelings about college in Detroit. It was a little like a breath of fresh air followed by a crippling punch to the gut. Whilst his self-consciousness about several things went up (his accent, his shyness, the dark bags under his eyes from late nights trying to become more fluent in English…), his anxiety about one particular aspect of himself actually decreased in a shockingly short space of time.  
  
Different coloured eyes were normal and common in Detroit. The tension of always standing out because of his eyes seemed to melt away quickly, like relaxing a muscle he didn’t realise he’d been holding tense until now.  
  
Yuuri was fascinated by the diversity of eye colours he saw around campus. There were people who had matching eyes, those with brown and hazel eyes, blue and brown eyes, green and blue eyes and every other combination Yuuri could think of. He had to consciously stop himself staring at people in the first few weeks of class. No-one else seemed perturbed by the colours at all – it was something everyone obviously thought was normal in this country.  
  
Yuuri thought it would be the ultimate case of irony if he ended up as one of those rare cases of people who had heterochromia and went from having two different coloured eyes to _keeping_ two different coloured eyes after meeting his soulmate. He’d also heard of cases where people had the same coloured eyes and were astonished to find their eyes had changed to two different colours _after_ meeting their soulmate.  
  
The only other person who seemed to be equally as fascinated by the different coloured eyes of everyone on campus was Yuuri’s new roommate Phichit Chulanont. Phichit was from Thailand, born and raised in Bangkok, and had two matching dark brown eyes, to the point where his irises almost looked black. Yuuri wondered if Phichit worried about finding his soulmate. However, he didn’t really have the courage to ask such a personal question to someone he’d only just met.  
  
The two of them quickly discovered that they both were training under Celestino Cialdini and would be working together as rink mates. Although he still didn’t ask Phichit about his eyes, Yuuri felt the walls quickly melting away between them as they lived together and got to know each other. Young, foreign and addicted to the ice; they bonded instantly.

 

  
\---

 

  
Yuuri experienced his first bout of really bad homesickness about 3 months after moving to Detroit.  
  
He’d had strong feelings of homesickness from the very start (exacerbated by the initial culture shock) but it had only just started to sink in how permanent this move was. He wasn’t on a vacation; he didn’t have a return ticket booked to Japan. He was stuck in this terrifying country where no one spoke Japanese, the food was strange and his family were 11,000 kilometres away.  
  
The beginning of the episode started when he received a mediocre mark on one of the first assignments he’d submitted. Yuuri was still finding grammar and expression very difficult in written work, even though his fluency in speaking English was improving rapidly through absolute necessity.  
  
Yuuri hated losing. Although getting a mediocre mark on an assignment wasn’t losing _per_ _se_ , Yuuri still felt like he had let down himself and his family. His family obviously hadn’t expected him to travel halfway across the world to slack off during classes. Clearly, he was not working hard enough in his studies and needed to spend more time improving his English after skating practise.

Yuuri went to the ice rink immediately after class with a lingering sense of failure and shame burning in his belly. The University ran a shuttle bus between the campus and the rink for the skaters, ice hockey players and dancers on scholarships. Yuuri spent the 40-minute journey clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to fight back angry self-deprecating thoughts. He knew his mental state always affected his skating and he hated that the mark was bothering him so much.  
  
He tried to clear his mind when the bus arrived at its destination. He jogged from the bus to the rink and ran up and down the front steps a few times before actually entering.

Detroit Skating Club was a large spacious building on the northwest edge of Detroit. It was right near several lakes that dotted the area. Occasionally, when the weather permitted and he had extra energy to burn, Yuuri would go jogging around the still water which was lined with gravel tracks. Most of the nicer lakes had green open golf courses straddling them, and Yuuri envied the people that went there who seemed to have all the leisure time in the world.  
  
Once Yuuri entered the rink and Celestino greeted him with a cheerful ‘Ciao Ciao!’, he started to feel his bad mental state turning into physical sensations. It felt like his blisters were rubbing in his skates more painfully than normal, and like the failure in his stomach was threating to rise up and out of his throat. His hands were shaking as he did figures on the ice to warm up.

Yuuri knew but didn’t care that he was being too impatient when he quickly gave up on warming up and started throwing himself into jumps.  
  
_Salchow, Toe loop, repeat…._  
  
Distantly Yuuri could hear Celestino yelling something at him. The racing thoughts in his head blocked out the sound, made it seem abstract. He felt dizzy as he launched himself up, then fell, hitting the ice with palms stinging.  
  
“Yuuri!” Celestino shouted, “Are you listening?”  
  
The sound was white noise. A repetitive thought started circling in Yuuri’s head.  
  
_If I’m not working hard enough on my assignments, at least I can work hard in my skating..._  
  
He fell again and repressed the urge to scream. He’d forgotten his gloves today. He was fairly certain his hands were going to start bleeding if he kept falling. As it was, his palms were turning an angry purply-pink colour. He could feel the dry skin between his knuckles starting to split and itch uncomfortably.  
  
“ _Yuuri_!”  
  
He jumped, fell and hit the ice again with a thud, his hip taking most of the impact. To stop himself from screaming, Yuuri bit his tongue so hard that he tasted blood. He got up again and immediately started gaining speed.  
  
_If I’m not working hard enough on my assignments, at least I can work hard in my skating..._  
  
He was about to launch himself up into a jump again when a strong hand clamped down on his shoulder, pulling him to a halt with a spray of ice shards. The abrupt stop made both him and Phichit wobble, both almost pitching forward onto the unforgiving surface of the rink.  
  
“YUURI!”  
  
Celestino’s matching green eyes were dark with anger as Phichit dragged him across to where their coach was standing at the boards.  
  
“Yuuri.”  
  
Yuuri had never seen his coach look this livid before, hands waving angrily around his head.  
  
“Are you trying to injure yourself?”  
  
Yuuri flinched, feeling failure flare and burn brightly in his stomach while his cheeks heated in embarrassment. He shrugged off Phichit’s hand which was still resting on his shoulder. Celestino paused and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
  
“You know normally the biggest challenge of my job is getting students to take their training seriously, not working so hard they almost injure themselves”  
  
Yuuri didn’t have anything to say to that. He noticed that Phichit was giving him a concerned look out of the corner of his eye. He felt his cheeks heat even further. It was the same worried expression his mother used to give him after he spent hours on the ice. Like he was someone weak who needed taking care of.  
  
Celestino turned to Yuuri’s roommate.  
  
“Phichit, I want to see some spread eagles and Bauers”  
  
Phichit started reaching for his phone, which was resting on the boards. Celestino gave him a pointed look.  
  
“Remember to push your hips forward, and stop trying to look down when you do it. I’ll film it for you later.”  
  
Celestino turned back to him as Phichit skated off to the other side of the rink to practise, still with a concerned look on his face. Yuuri clenched his jaw.  
  
“Yuuri, I admire your determination, and I know you want to nail those jumps. _But_ , if you jump one more time today I’m kicking you out of practise!”  
  
_That_ certainly got Yuuri’s attention.  
  
Celestino’s expression didn’t change at his wounded look.  
  
“Part of your journey here is learning your limits. You have to have confidence in yourself that you’ll learn to make those jumps even if you can’t do them right now. You can’t rush from 0 to 100 like that!”  
  
Celestino sighed and ran an agitated hand through his hair. Yuuri bit his lip, fighting back the protests that wanted to spring forth.  
  
“What do you have to say about that, Yuuri?”  
  
Yuuri swallowed, knowing his cheeks were now burnt a permanent crimson.  
  
“Victor Nikiforov could land those jumps when he was younger than me” he blurted out, immediately farewelling a part of his dignity that wanted to keep his obsession with the other skater secret.  
  
Celestino paused, looking surprised.  
  
Then to Yuuri’s mortification, he threw his head back and gave a full-bellied laugh. Celestino’s matching eyes softened slightly when he looked back down at him.  
  
“You’re not the first one to say that to me, Yuuri… And you won’t be the last aspiring skater to say it, either.”  
  
Celestino’s face turned serious again.  
  
“I believe you have the talent to be as good as Victor Nikiforov. Maybe even better-!”  
  
Yuuri made an involuntary sound of protest.  
  
“-But you will never get there if you don’t listen and trust in your body and your ability. You definitely won’t get there if you ignore all the advice your coach is trying to give you!!”  
  
Yuuri clenched his fists, embarrassment and failure flooding his belly again, hitting him in a cold wave of shame.  
  
“S-Sorry Coach Celestino. I will try harder next time to listen to your advice”  
  
Celestino nodded.  
  
“Good. You can keep practising if you want… But I only want to see basic forward and backward crossovers, lunges and pivots.”  
  
Yuuri tried to swallow down the tightness in his throat, willing his voice not to come out wobbly.  
  
“Yes Coach.”  
  
Yuuri started to move away from the boards.  
  
“Yuuri?”  
  
He paused.  
  
“…Yes?”  
  
“You will get there. Trust your coach, ok?”  
  
“Yes Coach.”  
  
Yuuri glided away.  
  
“Why do I get the feeling you haven’t heard a word I’ve just said?” Celestino muttered under his breath as Yuuri skated off and did careful laps around the rink.  
  
Later that night, Yuuri laid in his tiny bed and felt the weight of three failures sitting heavily on his chest.  
  
_I got a bad mark on my assignment… I couldn’t nail those jumps…. I didn’t listen to Celestino and upset him when he was trying to help me…_  
  
For a while Yuuri watched the shadows of trees illuminated by the streetlamps outside his small bedroom window dance in the wind outside. He jumped when his phone dinged with a notification on the pillow next to his head.  
  
A gorgeous photo of Mari and Vicchan popped up onto his phone screen when he opened the app.  
  
In the photo the sky was bright blue and lush green trees littered the background. With a pang Yuuri realised they were in the little park behind Hasetsu castle where tourists often rested to have lunch. Vicchan had his mouth open, pink tongue lolling out happily. Mari was obviously trying to keep him still enough to take the selfie and had an arm around his small furry shoulders. Vicchan was covering half her face, drool dripping out of his wide happy jaws. Mari was giving him an exasperated smile. Yuuri could almost picture him knocking her phone out of her hand in the next 30 seconds after the picture was taken.  
  
Yuuri felt a strong ache involuntarily grow in his throat, tears helplessly filling his eyes.  
  
At the bottom of the frame Mari had put a small caption in English. It had translated across a little strangely but Yuuri understood the sentiment straight away.  
  
“ _Even a dog runs into a pole when walking. I hope America treat you well little brother_ ”  
  
In other words; _good things come to those who take action, I’m proud of you for chasing your dreams_.  
  
It was the final nail in the coffin. Yuuri couldn’t stop as the tears started dripping down his cheeks and he curled up into a ball on his bed, letting his phone fall onto the floor.  
  
He missed Japan. He missed his mother’s cooking and relaxing in the onsen. He missed Mari’s dry jokes and his father’s terrible puns. He missed Yuuko and their pair skating. He missed the salty ocean breeze and properly seeing the stars in the sky. He missed speaking his native language and all the things he took for granted while he was there, like the sleepiness of Hasetsu and the ability to go to the rink whenever he wanted.  
  
He missed _Vicchan:_ the dog’s soft curly brown fur, his cuddles, his soft warm body on his bed at night and the way he always knew when Yuuri needed to talk to him when he was struggling.  
  
Now that he had started, Yuuri couldn’t stop the tears falling and thrust his face into his pillow, hearing Phichit shuffling around in the other tiny bedroom next to his room. He breathed harshly and painful choked sobs forced their way past his throat and onto the pillowcase. The more he tried to stop, the harder the sobs came.  
  
He missed everything and everyone in Japan _so much_. Through all of the excitement and fear and hours spent moving and training and studying, he’d never really had time to stop and feel exactly how painful the separation was.  
  
Yuuri kept sobbing until his chest was heaving and he felt like he was about to vomit. He squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could to stave off the nausea, feeling more hot fat tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes.  
  
Phichit seemed to settle down in the room next to him and eventually Yuuri started taking deeper breaths again.  
  
He wasn’t sick or injured. He’d even made some friends in Detroit. Why did he hurt so much?  
  
Yuuri stared at the wall blankly for a while, feelings draining away into something cold and numb in his chest. Emotions scraped raw, he eventually drifted off into an exhausted, listless sleep with dried tears streaked down his cheeks.

 

  
\----

 

  
After his bout of homesickness, Yuuri felt tired and empty.   
  
The day after his mini-meltdown he flung himself down in front of Celestino during afternoon practise with a long string of _“Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. I’lldobetternexttimeCoachCelestino_!”, still feeling guilty and ashamed of his behaviour the previous day.  
  
“Yuuri.”  
  
Celestino froze him on the spot with a firm stare with his light green eyes.  
  
“It’s ok to have a bad day now and then.”  
  
Yuuri nodded in a hurry.  
  
As the weekend approached he messaged Yuuko and scheduled a Skype call, hoping that speaking to her would help alleviate the dull aching in his heart. If he was being completely honest with himself, he had been putting off the call for far too long. It felt like the longer he was away, the harder and harder it was to contact the people he’d left behind in Japan despite how deeply he missed them.  
  
Around campus, summer was slowly turning to autumn and the sweeping green lawns and trees were becoming decorated with bright orange, yellow and red leaves. The breeze was rapidly cooling and the days becoming shorter. Almost like a switch had been flipped, Yuuri saw students wrapped tightly in scarves and puffy winter jackets all over campus. From his bedroom window, Yuuri could see that the clouds were becoming heavier and darker with each passing day, casting a dull grey light across the entire school which seemed to mute the bright autumn colours.  
  
The week slipped by quickly and soon Yuuri was sitting on his bed with his laptop perched on his lap, surprisingly nervous for his call with Yuuko. He fiddled with his headphones and adjusted the speaker settings. Phichit was staying back late at the rink tonight so Yuuri was alone in their small dorm.  
  
Yuuri wasn’t really sure why he was so nervous. He’d known Yuuko for as long as he could remember and it had only been 3 months since he’d seen her last. Nothing would have changed since he’d left.  
  
_It’s just Yuuko_ he kept telling himself, fiddling with his sleeves and trying to flatten down the mess that was his hair.  
  
When the ‘incoming call’ notification popped up Yuuri shakily pressed the ‘accept call’ button, helplessly feeling his cheeks heat up as the call connected. He wasn’t sure if it was nerves or anticipation making butterflies dance in his stomach.  
  
Yuuko’s smiling image appeared on the screen.  
  
“Hi Yuuri!”  
  
And Yuuri’s jaw dropped in surprise, his thoughts scattering like a bag of dropped marbles.  
  
“ _Y-Yuuko_!”  
  
He was so surprised he even forgot the honorific.  
  
She smiled sheepishly.  
  
For as long as he could remember, Yuuko had had one burgundy-brown eye and one very dark brown eye, pupil almost the same colour as the iris. His closest childhood friend now had two twinkling burgundy eyes shining brightly through the webcam.  
  
“Umm, surprise?”  
  
After he collected his jaw off the floor, Yuuri was a little startled by his own reaction. It didn’t really make any sense and he quickly tried to push it down, but Yuuri actually felt a little bit stung.  
  
He had never thought for even a moment that Yuuko was his soulmate… he _knew_ they were only friends, but there was something about how quickly she’d found her soulmate that dug into his chest uncomfortably. An insecurity he’d always kept extremely close to his heart dislodged a little bit.  
  
He tried to put on a wobbly smile.  
  
“Nishigori?”  
  
Yuuko nodded in confirmation.  
  
“It happened right after you left, Yuuri!”  
  
Yuuri wasn’t surprised by that at all. Nishigori’s suspicious gaze had always fallen on his back whenever him and Yuuko were together. Yuuri felt a somewhat perverse and quiet sense of satisfaction that the joke was on Nishigori there.  
  
“We were talking…” Yuuko cleared her throat, cheeks colouring, “and… and you know sometimes you feel a connection with someone that you can’t explain?”  
  
Yuuri cleared his throat, unsure he had ever felt exactly what she was describing.  
  
“Ahh… yes?”  
  
“We… we were getting closer and closer… umm it was very cold outside so he wrapped an arm around me and got a really serious expression on his face. And he looked like he was shaking which was strange because normally he is so confident!!”  
  
Yuuri couldn’t help but smile at the image of a nervous Nishigori struggling with words.  
  
“Then…” Yuuko paused, smile growing wider and a little dreamy, “he turned to look at me in the eyes, and confessed his feelings!”  
  
His friend’s excitement was contagious and a more genuine smile slid onto Yuuri’s face.  
  
“Then he…. Ah…”  
  
She smiled with pink cheeks and gestured towards her sparkling burgundy eyes.  
  
“How was it?” Yuuri blurted out, feeling his own cheeks heat up at the blunt question.  
  
Yuuko giggled, matching eyes twinkling.  
  
“Ahh! I can’t spoil the surprise for you Yuuri! You’ll just have to wait for your own soulmate.”  
  
She winked at him and Yuuri felt the slight jealously in his chest turn into something warmer and more affectionate towards his friend.  
  
“Ahh…”  
  
He paused, not sure what exactly the convention was for when one of your closest friends _switched_.  
  
“…Congratulations?”  
  
Yuuko grinned.  
  
“Thanks, Yuuri”  
  
The grin softened on her face.  
  
“Is it ok that I waited to tell you?”  
  
Yuuri smiled, trying to convey how happy he was for her and hoped that his blurry webcam captured the emotion correctly.  
  
“It’s ok. Thank you for sharing now.”  
  
Yuuko beamed again. Then something tender and nervous entered her expression.  
  
“Please forgive me for not saying this sooner, Yuuri”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
Yuuri’s brow furrowed at the expression on his friend’s face. Anticipation made him lean forward slightly.  
  
“Yuuri….”  
  
Yuuko’s eyes were wide and shiny through the webcam.  
  
“Y-Yes?”  
  
“I’m pregnant”  
  
….  
  
“ _HUH!?”_  
  
“Oh, and Nishigori and I are engaged!”  
  
_Thud_.  
  
Yuuri collapsed backwards onto his bed and didn’t bother trying to get back up again.

 

  
  
\---------

 

  
  
Yuuri was distracted at practise for the entire week following the call. He couldn’t get the image of Yuuko’s two matching eyes out of his head. His friend had found her soulmate, was getting married and was pregnant.  
  
_The doctor says it might be twins, Yuuri!_  
  
Yuuri was in a foreign country without his family, getting average marks and still couldn’t nail his jumps… and Yuuri definitely hadn’t met his soulmate…  
  
As soon as the thought about soulmates flitted into his mind, Yuuri crushed down that particular deep-seated insecurity as hard as he could. Who would want an anxious Japanese man like himself as a soulmate anyway? He was genuinely happy for his friend. He just found it hard to wrap his head around how different their lives had become in such a short space of time.  
  
At the rink, Celestino shook his head and, with frustration creeping into his voice, sent Yuuri home after he started flubbing his easiest jumps, his thoughts helplessly snagging and lingering on Yuuko. The familiar sense of shame and frustration smouldered in Yuuri’s stomach as he left the ice and caught the bus back to campus at the end of another difficult week.  
  
Once Yuuri hopped off the bus, he crossed the university lawn with his arms crossed and chin tucked into his chest. Evening was setting quickly over the city and the long, blue shadows of the trees seemed to chase and dance around him as the light slipped away from the sky. The tall, pale college buildings looked ghostly in the dim light. The mustard yellow clock tower almost looked lime green as the moon emerged and shone weakly through the clouds. Yuuri heard faint echoes of laughter as groups of students walked home for the night in the distance.  
  
Phichit was lounging on their tiny couch, scrolling through his phone, when Yuuri arrived back at their shared dorm.  
  
Yuuri tried settling down for the night, looked at his homework and attempted to arrange his assignments into some semblance of order. After realising he’d been staring at his laptop screen blankly for about 15 minutes, he gave up on that, messaged Mari on social media and tried to ignore the thoughts in his head about soulmates and weddings and babies that wouldn’t shut up.  
  
“Yuuri, you’re making me dizzy,” Phichit finally complained, looking up from his phone, “Why are you pacing around like you’re about to rob a bank?”  
  
Yuuri froze.  
  
“Ahh! Sorry Phichit!”  
  
He slumped down on the coach next to his friend and absently patted one of the hamsters that immediately tried to crawl onto his lap.  
  
Yuuri wracked his brain. What did Americans normally do to relax and let go of their worries on Friday nights? His mind immediately landed on the American movies he’d seen with Mari before he left Japan, as part of his ‘preparation’ for the move.  
  
He twiddled his thumbs together in nervous habit. Forgetting his brain was supposed to actually filter out bad ideas before they reached his mouth, Yuuri blurted out the first thing that came to mind when he thought of ‘Americans’ and ‘relaxing’.  
  
“Please take me out tonight, Phichit. I want to experience some American culture.”  
  
Yuuri didn’t blame his friend when Phichit looked surprised at the request. However, his roommate then broke into a wide grin, his matching eyes sparkling with excitement.  
  
Yuuri immediately questioned what he’d just gotten himself into.  
  
“Ok!”   
  
Phichit flicked between his social media accounts with a look of concentration for a while before pausing on a page.  
  
“There’s a party tonight on the other side of the city! It’ll take a while to get to but it should be fun. Parties are definitely an important part of American culture, right Yuuri?”  
  
Yuuri nodded dubiously.  
  
They were ready and on the subway soon after.  
  
After a 20-minute train ride and a 15-minute walk from the station, they arrived at a middle-class townhouse with white painted Venetian walls. Yuuri could hear the thick bass pounding from outside and raucous laughter bubbling up from the occupants within. When they knocked on the front door, no-one questioned who they were, how old they were or why they were there. Next to him, Phichit couldn’t stop smiling. Yuuri again wondered what he’d gotten himself into.  
  
Inside was dimly lit and crowded. Red and blue fairy lights had been draped over the walls, casting a deep purple light over the entire house. Drunken college students seemed to be laughing and hanging off every surface. Yuuri blinked as a red plastic cup was pushed into his hands by a bubbly stranger who disappeared 0.5 seconds later. The cup was filled with something orange that smelt like paint stripper. A cup with the same liquid appeared magically in Phichit’s hands too.  
  
“ _Heyyy_ guys, thanks for coming” their drunken host slurred.  
  
She was swallowed by the crowd again before they could even blink. Phichit and Yuuri looked at each other, smiled, shrugged and touched the cups together in a ‘cheers’ gesture.  
  
Yuuri gagged on the first sip, silently farewelling the lining of his throat and could see Phichit making a face out of the corner of his eye. Neither of them really had much experience with drinking. However, Yuuri persisted, never one to back down from a challenge, and the drink started to go down surprisingly easy, especially when refills kept being pushed into his hands by enthusiastic strangers.  
  
The world started taking on a pleasant floating feeling.  
  
Another cup later and Phichit disappeared as he recognised some friends from the geography class he was taking. The alcohol flowed pleasantly through Yuuri and he found that he didn’t mind too much as his friend vanished. Taking another full cup from anonymous hands, Yuuri naturally gravitated towards the speakers where a few people were bopping to loud thumping pop music that Yuuri didn’t recognise.  
  
A body pushed into his personal space but he was too tipsy to care. Instead he grabbed the person and twirled them around, letting his years of training under Minako-sensei take over. The deep thumping bass was easy to dance to, and Yuuri distantly realised that his mind felt calm for the first time in weeks. The person in his arms giggled breathlessly and clung to him tightly. Yuuri dipped them as the song finished. Distantly, Yuuri could hear some people cheering him on and felt colourful eyes watching them. Another full cup was pushed into his hand by someone.  
  
Just as he was about to take a sip there was a tugging on his sleeve. He looked down at the bright eyes of the girl he had been dancing with.  
  
She said something with a smile but he couldn’t hear it over the noise of the next song starting. She shook her head and pulled him away from the makeshift dancefloor and around the corner into a dark hallway. Her skin was bathed purple in the dim light, but her eyes shone like bright mismatched jewels. Yuuri could still feel the thumping of the bass from behind them and he was certain his ears would be ringing by the end of the night. She took the drink from his hand and placed it on the floor, again saying something that he didn’t catch over the music.  
  
“ – What?”  
  
And then there were a pair of wet lips pressed against his.  
  
Yuuri froze.  
  
A slimy tongue was pushed roughly into his mouth, sickly sweet from the alcohol. A moment of visceral disgust hit Yuuri like a blow to the chest, and his brain finally caught up to the situation.   
  
She broke away giggling.  
  
“Haha we match!” she slurred loudly gesturing at their faces.  
  
_“_ No, we don’t! _”_  Yuuri snapped, pushing her away from him, a bit more roughly than intended. He swallowed something thick and unwelcome in his throat.  
  
The girl’s right eye was brown while her left eye was blue. Yuuri’s soulmate would have a brown left eye and a blue right eye.  
  
The girl stumbled backwards, drunk, but managed to catch herself on the opposite wall. She stared at him in shock for several painful seconds before her demeanour changed as the rejection registered.  
  
Eyes that were bright with playfulness a second earlier were now bright with anger and unshed tears. The mismatched eyes glared at him.  
  
“What are you doing, waiting for your _soulmate_ or something?”  
  
“I-“  
  
But she didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence. She turned and stalked away with her nose in the air.  
  
Yuuri‘s cheeks caught on fire.  
  
After standing for a few stunned moments, he let out a disbelieving little drunk laugh.  
  
“Ahhh no, but I don’t think you’d like being with someone who has been dreaming about the same Russian skater since they were 13” he mumbled and rubbed the back of his head with his hand.  
   
Yuuri then sunk down against the wall and drank the rest of his drink which was still sitting next to his foot in a few large gulps.  
  
A few people stumbled around the corner, laughing or talking, and gave him strange looks.  Alcohol helpfully blocked Yuuri’s self-consciousness as the party continued on around him.  
  
Sitting slumped on the floor was where Phichit found him about half an hour later.  
  
“Yuuri, are you ok?” he asked, looking slightly alarmed.  
  
Yuuri groaned, his cheeks heating up again. He buried his burning face into his hands.  
  
“Phichit, I just had my first kiss. It was terrible”  
  
Phichit blinked, and then couldn’t stop laughing.

 

  
  
\-----

 

  
His time at college passed rapidly.  
  
Celestino’s training was intense and slowly wore him and Phichit to the bone. Classes were squeezed around competitions, and assignments were often completed last-minute on his laptop in airport terminals while waiting to board flights.  
  
Yuuri knew he tended to get caught up in his own thoughts and routines, but it was hard to stop when he felt like he was only just keeping his head above water. He also knew it was a trait that meant he could appear cold or selfish at times and caused him to miss when other people were going through difficulties of their own.  
  
It was part of the reason why he didn’t notice that Phichit was also struggling with homesickness until his roommate came home late one night from a party completely obliterated.  
  
Yuuri was jolted awake with his heart pounding by retching noises coming from their tiny dorm bathroom. He reached for his phone and pressed the screen with his thumb. The device came to life, helpfully informing him that it was 2:16am. Wondering whether he was hearing things, Yuuri lay rigid in his bed, listening carefully for further noises.

Just as he was starting to relax, the awful sound of wet heaving occurred again, followed by a round of painful gagging. Concerned, Yuuri rolled out of bed, crept down the hall and knocked cautiously on the bathroom door which had been left slightly ajar.  
  
A groan answered him and Yuuri poked his head cautiously into the room.  
  
Phichit was hunched over the toilet, his tanned face pale and sweaty.  
  
“Yuuuuuri” Phichit moaned, his words slurring into a jumbled mess, “what the hell is with tipping? It makes no sense at all.”  
  
“Tipping is weird.” Yuuri agreed solemnly.  
  
He quickly ducked out of the bathroom and jogged to their shared kitchen. He grabbed one of their glasses and filled it with water before walking as fast as he could back into the bathroom. He then knelt down next to Phichit, who hadn’t moved from his slumped position over the toilet bowl.  
  
Phichit looked at him with glazed, unfocused eyes.  
  
“Hi Yuuriiii”  
  
Yuuri tried a small smile and pushed the dark hair out of his friend’s eyes.  
  
“Hi. Please drink this.”  
  
Phichit slowly began drinking the water but immediately started to make a face and turned back towards the toilet bowl.  
  
“Too many skinny bitches” he groaned, face ashen and clammy in the sickly white light of their bathroom.  
  
Yuuri gave him a blank ‘ _what the hell’_ look, which made Phichit start giggling weakly.  
  
“The drink I had all night is called a skinny bitch… vodka, lime and soda water…. Perfect for us, right?”  
  
Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh at that.  
  
“I would die for a piece of cake right now” he admitted smiling ruefully.  
  
Phichit cracked a small smile. He started taking deep breaths in and out, obviously trying not to be sick again. Yuuri rubbed his back, unsure whether he was being much help or what exactly he needed to do in such a situation.  
  
“I don’t want to vomit again” Phichit mumbled, clutching the bowl with white knuckles, “Talk to me about something Yuuri”  
  
“Ahhh…”  
  
Yuuri wracked his brain for something and went with the first thing that came to mind.  
  
“Brad Pitt was caught wearing contacts to make it look like he was soulmates with Angelina Jolie.”  
  
Phichit huffed a quiet laugh.  
  
“I’m the worst friend. I didn’t know you liked American celebrity gossip”  
  
Yuuri smiled at that. He didn’t really. The word soulmate, however, was like a magnet for him.  
  
“I hate clickbait.” he said instead.  
  
Drunken Phichit loved the tangent.  
  
“It’s the _worst_!”  
  
Yuuri kept rubbing his friend’s back and talked softly about anything he could think of. His classes, their skating, his growing love of American pop music, the latest videos and interviews he had watched about Victor Nikiforov…

“Victor Nikiforov cut his hair short very recently. I wonder what is happening in his life…” Yuuri pondered. “I wonder whether something difficult is happening to him?”  
  
“Poor Victor.” Phichit muttered faintly.  
  
Although Yuuri couldn’t be 100% sure, talking seemed to help his friend in some way.  
  
After a while Phichit began to straighten back up and breath more naturally, inching away from the toilet bowl. Yuuri left a gentle hand on his friend’s back.  
There was silence for a few minutes before Phichit’s face darkened suddenly, his eyes filling with tears.  
  
“I miss home.”  
  
Yuuri sucked in a sharp breath. An unwelcome lump appeared suddenly in his throat. He thought of the picture Yuuko sent him recently of herself surrounded by her three newborn triplets with the caption ‘ _Hope you can visit soon_ ’.  
  
“So do I.” he whispered.  
  
Tears started silently falling down Phichit’s cheeks.  
  
Yuuri hovered uncomfortably. Finally, he moved the hand from his friend’s back onto his friend’s shaking shoulder and moments later had his arms full. Phichit clung to him and sobbed into the crook of his neck.  
  
“Ahh...”  
  
It was wet and unpleasant and a bit ticklish. Yuuri didn’t let go.  
  
He wanted to ask whether Phichit was ok but that was obviously ridiculous.  
  
Instead he asked:  
  
“Do… do you want to talk about it?”  
  
The head pressed against his neck shook ‘no’.  
  
Yuuri glanced at their wall-length bathroom mirror. His brow was furrowed and his mouth had taken on an unhappy downcast slant. With a cold sinking feeling, Yuuri realised that Phichit’s bright smile hid a lot beneath the surface. Something fierce and protective grew in his stomach. He silently vowed to do better by his friend in the future.  
  
When Phichit calmed down, Yuuri managed to guide him into bed with another glass of water, a bucket next to his bed just in case and plugged his phone in to charge. Yuuri continued to rub calming circles on his arm until his friend finally passed out.  
  
Yuuri collapsed back into his own bed at 3:41am.  
  
He watched for a very long time as the long, dark blue shadows of his room transitioned to grey, then white, then finally yellow as dawn broke, and a new day crept into his room through the gap in his curtains.

 

  
  
\---

 

  
  
Phichit became gloomy during practice and somewhat withdrawn, spending more time in his room than normal. Yuuri had no idea what to do and felt concern squirm anxiously in his stomach for his friend. Yuuri now knew that homesickness was definitely playing a role in the change. However, Yuuri struggled to identify how to make things easier for his friend.  
  
Yuuri knew logically there wasn’t anything he could do to influence or improve the situation. There was also nothing he could say to sugar-coat the fact that Phichit’s family was over 13,000 kilometres away. However, Yuuri’s concern for his friend made him antsy. It was like an unpleasant itch in the back of his throat he couldn’t get rid of.  
  
Neither of them exactly had a free schedule, or much spare time for anything other than skating, studying and sleeping. However, Yuuri knew that one of the best ways for him to keep his anxious thoughts at bay was doing challenging physical activity.  
  
Almost subconsciously, Yuuri found himself standing in front of the college noticeboard after class one day looking for _something_. Initially, there wasn’t much on the board that caught his attention and Yuuri frowned with disappointment. However, just as he was about to turn away, something bright caught his eye. The poster was white and fuchsia and had been pinned haphazardly to the bottom left corner of the board. It had almost been completely covered by another poster, which was why Yuuri hadn’t spotted it the first time.  
  
He skimmed the advert, and Yuuri’s first thought was a resounding _NO.  
  
_ Four days later Phichit and him were lying in agony on Phichit’s bed after their first poledancing lesson.  
  
“I’ve got bruises on my thighs,” Phichit complained, hiking up his shorts to show Yuuri exactly what the damage was. “I’ve got bruises on my bruises.”  
  
Yuuri sympathised. The insides of his thighs were a yellow and green mess from persistently jumping on the pole trying to nail the ‘diva’ pose. He knew he’d be walking like a bizarre penguin for the next few days to keep his thighs from brushing together.  
  
“Uhh… at least they match your feet now?”  
  
Yuuri really needed to invest in a brain-to-mouth filter at some point.  
  
He laughed nervously as his friend gave him a flat, unimpressed look.  
  
“Sorry Phichit… I thought it would be a good way to take your mind off things”  
  
Phichit paused. He picked up one of the hamsters that was squirming on his shoulder and patted its back softly. The little animal let out a high-pitched squeak. Phichit’s dark eyes were shining.  
  
“…. Thanks Yuuri”  
  
Yuuri bit his lip.  
  
“I really miss baths,” he offered with a small smile, “Everyone here is obsessed with showers.”  
  
Phichit laughed. It was the first real one Yuuri had heard in a while.  
  
“There is no street food here at all… well, apart from those hotdog stands. Where is all the noise and colour?”  
  
“The Imperial system is really confusing…”  
  
“Degrees in Fahrenheit make no sense.”  
  
“I’m scared I’ll never meet my soulmate.”  
  
Phichit’s mouth dropped open in surprise.  
  
“Yuuri!”  
  
Yuuri flushed.  
  
“I’m scared I’ll never get to 10,000 followers on Instagram!” Phichit said with a cheeky grin.  
  
His face then softened.  
  
“…And I’m also terrified that I’ll never meet my soulmate… or even if I meet someone, that I’ll never know if they are my soulmate”  
  
The hamster made another high-pitched squeak and tried to wriggle out of Phichit’s hand. He placed it down softly on the mattress.  
  
“I miss my home…. but I want to make history, and there are some good things keeping me in America too.”  
  
That night, they watched The King and The Skater for what seemed like the 100th time.  
  
Nothing could completely cure the homesickness but Phichit fell asleep smiling.

 

  
  
\---

 

 

  
Yuuri was invited out to a house party for the first time on a Saturday night. The invitation came from one of his poledancing friends about 5 weeks after he had started classes.  
  
Apparently, he was quite good at the classes? Somehow being the only male in the class actually made Yuuri feel less self-conscious, and his new classmates actually seemed to want to talk to him. Yuuri wasn’t sure he’d ever understand exactly why.  
  
Although Phichit refused to return to the poledancing lessons, Yuuri invited him along to the party too. Phichit took a selfie of them in the cool evening air outside their dorm before they started walking over.  
  
The party was located in a double-story house shared by six college students, which straddled the northeast lip of the campus. The dwelling was cramped and cold, but brightly lit. As they walked in, Yuuri noticed all the doors between rooms downstairs had been thrown open, and every single light was blazing to give the illusion of space. There weren’t many people inside except for a few students taking drinks from the small kitchen fridge. The majority of the party had spilt outside onto the dimly lit patio and lawn. A large speaker had been dragged onto the patio and was pumping out music. Despite the biting wind, not many people had dressed warmly, with many of the girls in skirts or tight shorts.  
  
Yuuri quickly spotted his poledancing friends and before long they were pushing alcohol into his hands and chanting at him to dance. With the drinks bolstering his confidence, Yuuri demonstrated some of the movements he would be using in his upcoming Short Program to an American pop song about soulmates which was blaring in the background. The alcohol combined with the movement meant Yuuri quickly forgot how cold it was.  
  
Something Yuuri had noticed from the very start was that Americans were _obsessed_ with the concept of soulmates. If a pop song wasn’t about love, clubbing or sex, then it was almost certainly about soulmates. The reality TV shows that Phichit and him watched about soulmates were often addictively cringeworthy. They had watched one recently where a couple kissed on camera for the first time at the altar only to discover they weren’t soulmates. It was horrible but at the same time neither of them could look away.  
  
Yuuri clumsily tried to demonstrate a jump on a wooden floor of the patio with sneakers on. He landed as gracefully as was to be expected and mock-bowed to cheers when the song ended, face flushed. The girls squealed in delight when, tipsy, Yuuri told them about his celebrity crush on Victor Nikiforov, how Victor Nikiforov could do every kind of jump gracefully and how the skater had the same coloured eyes as him.  
  
A different song came on and Yuuri was dancing again, moving his body to _another_ song about soulmates and imagining he was moving with a different person to the one currently pressed against him, uncaring that Phichit was filming with glee in the background. Yuuri laughed at the chorus of ‘boos’ when the song finished and he left the patio to go inside for some water.  
  
The house was extremely bright compared to the dim light outside. It caused Yuuri to blink and squint at the glare. The lights reflected and flashed off his glasses when he rounded the corner, meaning he didn’t immediately notice that the kitchen wasn’t empty.  
  
Yuuri skidded to a halt, almost bowling straight into the back of the other person.  
  
“Sorry!” Yuuri yelped, catching his feet just in time to avoid the collision.  
  
The person turned around.  
  
His eyes locked with a brunette guy who had two twinkling blue eyes.  
  
Yuuri squinted.  
  
Looking closer, Yuuri could see that the guy’s left eye was actually light blue and his right eye was a slightly darker blue-grey.  
  
The guy raised an eyebrow.  
  
Yuuri flushed more deeply, realising abruptly how impolitely and intently he was studying the stranger’s eyes.  
  
“Ahh... sorry sorry!”  
  
“It’s fine.”  
  
The guy smiled at him.  
  
Half an hour later, Yuuri stumbled back to their group outside in a daze.  
  
His friends shrieked with glee when they saw him. Yuuri almost didn’t notice that Phichit had disappeared from sight.

 

 

\---

 

  
  
The next day, Phichit had bright purple hickeys around his collarbone and Yuuri had one perfect bite mark on his neck. Celestino’s eyes widened in horror at practice.  
  
Yuuri tactfully didn’t mention the number he had scrawled on his arm in permanent marker which he couldn’t scrub off in the shower that morning. _Thank God_ it was winter and he could get away with wearing long sleeves.

The next 30 minutes were dedicated to lecturing them both about where they could purchase widely available contraception in America and the dangers of STIs and STDs.  
  
“But Ciao Ciao, if I don’t try these things, how will I ever find my soulmate?” Phichit asked cheerfully when Celestino paused for breath.  
  
Yuuri, torn between humiliated embarrassment and amusement, couldn’t stop himself from snorting.  
  
Celestino slapped a hand to his face.  
  
“There are more important things than finding your soulmate, Phichit!”  
  
“Coming from someone who has already found their soulmate!” Phichit countered grinning cheekily.  
  
Practise after that was absolutely brutal for weeks. Yuuri suspected Celestino had silently vowed to try and burn off as much of their excess energy as possible on the ice. With a grim, determined face, their coach also pushed a box of condoms into both of their hands, and would not take no for an answer. Despite the event at the party, Yuuri resisted the urge to snap that the only _real_ action he was getting was in his dreams with a person who didn’t even know his name. He managed to hold his tongue.  
  
Yuuri distinctly heard his coach grumble something about teenagers and hormones under his breath later that afternoon, as Yuuri stood hunched over the boards gasping for air and dripping with sweat. 

 

  
\---

 

 

Time continued to pass at college.  
  
Yuuri’s marks on assignments improved dramatically as his English transitioned from good to fluent. Phichit teased him about being a high achiever, which Yuuri dismissed immediately.  
  
Yuuri wondered whether there would ever be a time when he didn’t feel torn between his education and his career.  
  
He had a partner project due in two days, and he hadn’t even looked at it because of the hours he’d been spending at the rink. Phichit teased him by sending him memes about group assignments including “ _What group projects are supposed to teach you: communication, responsibility, collaboration and teamwork. What group projects actually teach you: Trust no one_ ” and “ _When I die, I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time_ ”.

Yuuri fully recognised that _he_ was currently the one making people think those things about partner projects.  
  
He sprinted across campus towards his dorm, trying to suppress the panicked screeching that was starting to burst out of his throat. He had lost track of time at practise and was supposed to meet his assignment partner 20 minutes ago. The cold winter wind cut into his cheeks and made his breath fog out in front of him. He tried not to slip on the dirty piles of slushy snow that peppered the green campus law. He’d already seen several students taken out by hidden patches of ice and slippery mud. Even with regular salting, the paths were treacherous and most people were hiding inside the warm college buildings instead of braving the cold.  
  
Yuuri skidded slightly as he rounded the final corner to his dorm and caught sight of someone hovering uncertainly outside his door.  
  
Yuuri ran the rest of the way down the hall and came to an abrupt halt in front of the person, taking a moment to gasp in air as he hunched over with his head bowed and hands on his knees. He was momentarily too puffed to launch into his normal ‘ _SorrySorrySorry_ ’ routine. The dorms were always superheated and the abrupt change in temperature made colour rise on Yuuri’s cheeks. His skin felt uncomfortably sticky.  
  
“Are you Yuuri?”  
  
Yuuri, still panting, nodded and looked up.  
  
O _h…._  
  
Yuuri swallowed, thoughts stuttering to a halt.  
  
He hoped that the blush he felt blooming over his cheeks was concealed by the flush he already had from the frozen winter air and running all the way there.  
  
The person in front of him had short sandy blonde hair and was dressed casually in jeans, a light blue scarf wrapped over a dark blue ski jacket and dark woolly gloves. A large pair of dark pink lips were quirked into a half-smile and sat below cheekbones that were sprinkled with light freckles. However, his most striking feature was his deep brown left eye and his bright blue right eye which had widened slightly as they took in Yuuri.  
  
“I’m Chris.”  
  
He offered a hand and Yuuri took a moment to register he was supposed to shake it.  
  
“Y-Yuuri”  
  
Yuuri stamped on the urge to bow and add an honorific onto the end of his name. He shook the outstretched hand and his palm tingled when he slowly let go. He straightened fully as his breath slowly evened out.

He ignored that the name made him think of the successful Suisse skater he’d bumped into at a few skating competitions recently who’d seemed to like him for some inexplicable reason… or liked flirting with him at the very least.  
  
They stared at each other.  
  
Yuuri gaze flicked down to Chris’ large pink lips as they started to say something. Fascinated, not by the words but by the skin, he leaned closer.  
  
The lips kept moving. He was saying something about the project they had to do together? Something about how they could split the work between them? Yuuri nodded absently. Was it normal for Caucasian people to have lips like that? If possible, Yuuri’s cheeks became even redder.  
  
Almost on autopilot, Yuuri reached over and poked the bottom lip that was still moving up and down. There was a pregnant pause before embarrassment zipped down his spine like lightning.  
  
Yuuri reeled back, almost stumbling in his haste and his cheeks flooded with renewed heat. He was fairly certain one day people were going to think he had crimson tattooed on his face.

“ _A- Ah_ s _orry!! Sorry._ I don’t know why I did that!”  
  
Chris’ eyes were wide with surprise. His mouth hung open in a little ‘o’.  
  
Then the surprised expression turned amused and heated, his large lips curling up at the corners.  
  
“Something on your mind?”  
  
“Nononono!” Yuuri exclaimed waving both his palms face up in front of his chest.  
  
Yuuri didn’t get a chance to do anything else before he was gently kissed by those dark pink lips.  
  
Yuuri took a sharp intake of breath through his nose and his hands flew up to land on Chris’ shoulders, a second away from pushing him off in shock. Yuuri’s heart thudded painfully in his chest and he hovered painfully in frozen indecision.  
  
The kiss lingered and when Chris pulled back he tugged gently, leaving Yuuri’s bottom lip protruding forward slightly. Yuuri felt a thrill of fear and anticipation run down his spine as Chris opened his eyes. His heart was in his throat, palms clammy.  
  
Blue and brown were still looking back at him.  
  
To his surprise, disappointment bloomed in Yuuri’s belly, and his hands dropped back to his sides. He took an unsteady step backwards.  
  
He’d never been more aware of his deep-seated insecurity than he was in that moment, just kissed by someone who had the right eyes but still wasn’t his match. For the thousandth time he thought of Yuuko and her matching eyes and babies and shining wedding ring.  
  
Yuuri let out a shaky sigh and shook his head, trying to stop the spiralling thought of _You will never find them_ consume his mind. He knew it was stupid; there were millions of people who had blue and brown eyes and millions who would never know who their soulmate was. He was going to be a terrible disappointment to his soulmate anyway, so did it really matter?   
  
His feelings continued to circle and snag on the thought.  
  
“Ahh?”  
  
Yuuri jolted, and surprise flooded his stomach for the second time as he was kissed again. A strong hand pressed firmly on the back of his neck.  
  
_Oh…_  
  
The lips were warm and wet and Yuuri felt his eyes drifting closed even though his heart was still thudding painfully quickly in his chest.  
  
This person wasn’t his soulmate…. But did that really matter? It was crazy to assume Yuuri would just meet his soulmate magically. He didn’t want to hold himself back because of it.  
  
The thought made him feel brave and he opened his mouth to let their tongues gently brush.  
  
When they broke apart again he gestured to his front door helplessly and Chris nodded. Yuuri wasn’t exactly sure what he was getting into, but all he knew was he was sick of being anxious and afraid.  
  
As soon as they were inside and Yuuri had closed the door, he was being pushed up against it.  
  
A hot mouth pressed rough kisses into his neck. A slight scratch of stubble had Yuuri tilting his head back and thudding against the door behind him.  
  
Yuuri knew he was shaking. It felt like fiery ants were crawling over his skin as heat pooled in his belly and he felt a growing pressure in his groin. Despite the nerves, Yuuri let his hands dance lightly down Chris’ back. He hesitated briefly, heart thumping wildly and squeezed the guy’s ass to pull him closer. Chris groaned wetly against his neck, a growing hardness pressing into Yuuri’s hip.  
  
Thank God Phichit had classes until the evening. _Thank God_.  
  
Between wet kisses, Yuuri fumbled to take his glasses off. They had started to press into the bridge of his nose painfully and get in the way. As soon as they came off Chris took half a step back and was pulling Yuuri’s jacket and t-shirt up and over his head. Yuuri’s heart kept pounding loudly in his chest. His throat had grown tight and dry.  
  
Yuuri breathed harshly, suddenly very aware of his own body and figure. However, he didn’t get much time to think before lips and clumsy kisses were being trailed down his torso and belly. Yuuri had grown dizzy with want and his eyes rolled to the back of his head when the slight hint of stubble very gently scraped against a nipple. His hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides as Chris fell to his knees.  
  
Suddenly, Chris paused at the thin trail of dark hair which started just below Yuuri’s belly button.  
  
“ _Fuck_. You’re so ripped baby.”  
  
The words tickled against his abdomen. Thick fingers pulled down his fly and reached inside. Yuuri tensed before forcing himself to relax.  
  
_Americans have the strangest phrases,_ Yuuri dimly thought, as the guy stopped talking and took Yuuri’s cock into his hot wet mouth.  
  
Obscene noises filled the room. The lips were red and dark and wet and swollen as they took him in. He couldn’t stop staring at them. Yuuri lost his mind for several bliss-filled minutes. However, as he got closer, self-preservation kicked in and he firmly pushed Chris off.  
  
“A-ahh, please wait”  
  
Taking deep, fortifying breaths, Yuuri ducked into his bedroom and retrieved the very box he’d been cursing his coach for not long ago.  
  
When he returned, Yuuri cleared his throat painfully.  
  
“I, uhh... I want to be safe”  
  
Chris shrugged, pulling Yuuri close again.  
  
It wasn’t long before Yuuri was groaning at the ceiling with his shaking hands buried in the moving blonde hair. A persistent, burning pressure built at the base of Yuuri’s spine until his jaw dropped open and his limbs went rigid. He shook, jolted, and saw white.  
  
When he’d finished trembling and panting, coming down from his high with shaky legs, Yuuri looked down with determination.  
  
“Now you.”  
  
They stripped Chris quickly of his clothes.  
  
Chris wrinkled his nose but didn’t vocally protest as Yuuri briefly fumbled another condom out of the box and rolled it onto him. He certainly didn’t protest when Yuuri then fell to his knees.  
  
Yuuri’s jaw ached almost immediately at the task. It was harder than it looked to keep his lips curled over his teeth so he didn’t scratch anything important. Saliva pooled in his mouth and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with his tongue. He tried focusing on breathing through his nose and the plastic taste in his mouth. However, the aching in his jaw quickly became too much. Yuuri pulled off with his ears burning.  
  
Ignoring his fiery cheeks, Yuuri stood and tugged Chris towards his bedroom. Yuuri pushed Chris down onto his bed so that he was sitting on the edge and Yuuri was kneeling between his legs. The angle was slightly gentler on his jaw, so when Yuuri leaned forward, he redoubled his efforts even though his knees were now screaming at him.  
  
“ _Fuuuuuck_ , I think I’m gonna come”  
  
Slightly startled, Yuuri looked up to see the Chris’ expression.  
  
Two brown eyes stared back at him.  
  
_What?_  
  
Yuuri pulled off abruptly in alarm.  
  
“ _Eh?!?_ ”  
  
Several panicked thoughts crashed into his brain at the same time.  
_  
This is my soulmate?  
  
Is my soulmate going to think I do this with lots of men?  
  
Wait, I have blue eyes??  
  
…Did I just blow a guy so well that he became my soulmate?????  
  
_ Chris stared back in bewilderment, wondering why he’d pulled off so suddenly. Then his brown eyes flicked down between them and he made an involuntary mortified noise. Yuuri’s confusion grew.  
  
Yuuri shifted backwards, brain trying to make sense of what was happening. The movement caused him to spot something small lying on Chris’ thigh.  
  
Yuuri let out an explosive breath of relief as everything the world clicked back into place.  
  
Yuuri’s racing heart slowed just a fraction. He repressed the strongest urge he’d ever had to race to a mirror just to make certain that his eyes were still the same mismatched colour they’d always been. However, Chris’ red face was enough confirmation for the moment. Some part of Yuuri almost wanted to laugh.

The small object sitting innocently on Chris’ thigh was a blue contact lens.  
  
He moved backwards again and pressed a hand to his thumping heart, willing it to calm down and for his thoughts to stop racing.  
  
“– Chris?”  
  
The name seemed to jolt the man out of his embarrassed silence. In a sudden flurry of movement, Chris pulled off the condom, yanked his pants up and threw his t-shirt on backwards.  
  
Yuuri hesitated, unsure whether he should stop him from running or try to say something comforting.  
  
Objectively, he knew that people sometimes wore contact lenses for fashion or to look edgy or because eye colours could be personal. Yuuri would never grow used to the fact that apparently matching eyes were considered boring in America unless you were married or had met your soulmate. However, Yuuri had never exactly envisioned something like this happening to him because of these facts.  
  
He didn’t come to a conclusion about what to do quickly enough because Chris was already dressed and striding for the door. The door was open and slammed closed before Yuuri could think of anything to say.  
  
Silence fell over the dorm.  
  
Yuuri stayed perfectly still and counted slowly to 30 before scrambling off the bed and racing to the bathroom.  
  
His flushed wide-eyed reflection stared back at him as he burst into the room. His hair was sticking up at all angles, his mouth was very pink and he had a few red marks dotted around his neck.  
  
When Yuuri looked in the mirror, he still had one brown eye and one blue eye.  
  
The buzzing in his head receded and Yuuri found he could take deeper breaths again.  
  
In a daze, he stumbled back to his bedroom and flopped backwards onto his bed. Then he curled up into a little ball and groaned pathetically into his hands.  
  
His first kiss was terrible, and now this experience too…. Was his love life doomed to be a comedy forever?  
  
Only then did a second thought hit him…  
  
“Urghhhh…. What am I going to do about the partner project?”  
  
Yuuri, embarrassed by the whole saga and the fact that he pulled an all-nighter to complete the project on his own, kept the event secret for three weeks. 

 

  
  
\-----

 

  
  
“The rules are very simple, Yuuri. Every time Victor Nikiforov nails a jump, we take a shot”  
  
Phichit and Yuuri watched the grainy livestream on Yuuri’s laptop as Victor Nikiforov won gold at the Grand Prix Final.  
  
Emotional from watching Victor Nikiforov skate, Yuuri was well on his way to drunk when the story about Chris came spilling out of him.  
  
Phichit nearly died laughing. Yuuri repressed the urge to smother his friend with a pillow. 

 

  
\----

 

  
  
Much like high school, the rest of college passed in an exhausted blur. Yuuri trained until his feet were a bruised bloody mess, passed his classes, gained his degree and competed in competitions.  
  
His international ranking rose over the 5 years he lived in Detroit and he made it to the Grand Prix Final at age 23. Then Vicchan died, Yuuri humiliated himself on the ice in front of Victor Nikiforov, got drunk at the banquet, woke up the next morning with no memory of the event and travelled back home to Hasetsu to re-evaluate his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As I mentioned in chapter 1, I'm just a monolingual fool with Google so please forgive any errors. 
> 
> I acknowledge this chapter was a little slower plot-wise. However, I've always wanted to explore Yuuri and Phichit's relationship in more depth.
> 
> Next chapter will pick up where the series starts - hope to see you there! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated.


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